Letting You in My Business (Kinda)

How much do you share online?

I’m on Twitter. I’m on Facebook. I’m on MySpace, LinkedIn, Tagged, Bebo… There may be more communities that I’m a part of but they escape me at the moment. For some of these sites, the goal is to develop a following, but I play the middle on just about every level. I’m definitely active in social media, but sometimes I feel like I’m behind the pack in terms of immersion and even deciding what to share.

Are you regular?

No sophomoric references to one’s digestive tract, I promise. I’m wondering what “regular” means in terms of posts and updates to social networking sites. I like to think that I update them all regularly, but that seems to be a relative term.

I probably tweet once or twice a day but I follow people who do so once or twice a minute. I’m on Facebook often, but I don’t take all the random quizzes (seriously…what kind of toilet paper-folder are you???). I don’t send obscure “gifts” all day either. Who really wants to get a “Happy Smiley Heart Margarita in a Here’s a Hug Mug?” Does this mean I’m only a casual user and not as absorbed as I once thought? I also wonder if my amount of time spent online influences my interests on certain sites, if it’s the other way around, or if it’s a bi-causal relationship. It’s a quintessential chicken/egg question.

Business, Personal…Businal?

I certainly enjoy letting my friends know that my mom thinks I moved to Japan, or that I believe a cravings troll lives under my couch and he’s to blame when I suddenly need a Rice Crispies Treat. But I also have some pretty serious followers on Twitter who are all about business. Reading their tweets make me wonder if I should maybe talk more about race relations and beer at the White House. Mind you, this comes with some level of assumption that people actually care what I’m writing/tweeting/updating about. But I’m a blogger ¾ of course I think people (well…at least a couple of friends) care!

What Are You In For?

When it comes to sharing information online, for some, it’s a job. For others, it’s all play. You have those who should really learn the art of self-censorship and then there’s me. I’m a communications professional who likes to play in the space but I’m very aware of what I put out there.  For now, I’ll continue to share with the same levels of frequency and disclosure. I’m curious to know what ¾ if anything ¾ would prompt this to change.

I’m comfortable with my presence online. Sure, I’d have more followers on Twitter if I discussed more industry topics. I’d have a following here if I posted more often too. But for me, it’s isn’t about who’s reading as much as it is about having a say. I put myself out there just enough for those who are interested and I can say what I want. It’s like talking to yourself out loud when you’re alone (don’t act like you’ve never done it!). Sometimes we have something to say whether someone’s listening or not.

Shameful abandonment – Why I haven’t posted in five months

I admit it; I have committed a cardinal sin in the world of blogging. I have not written a post in months. It isn’t because I’ve fallen from the face of the earth, and yes, my brain still works. I still have a multitude of opinions and am abreast of the many events happening around me. So why the egregious neglect? 

 

I tried to come up with a reason that would warrant forgiveness and understanding, but the simple truth is that I haven’t made time. Not that I didn’t “have” time, but that I didn’t “make” time. Since I began writing for a living, I haven’t left much room for personal writing, off the clock. To be honest, my day job doesn’t contain itself to just happening in the day. Often I’m working from home in the evenings or on weekends. I’m not complaining because I love what I do. But once the job is done, I zone out.

 

I’m sure there are plenty of professional writers who still find time to update their blogs no matter what. Personally, I don’t have enough of a following to deem it a responsibility at this point. My musings tend to fare on the reflective side as opposed to being informative and I don’t believe my humble opinion is something the masses are thirsting for (yet…).

 

I have also found some topics truly intriguing and worthy of my two cents, only to get caught up in the whirlwind that is my paying job and miss the opportunity to capitalize on the effects of immediacy. 

 

My social media guru friend, Reem Abeidoh (aka Nomadelle) frequently admonishes me for not staying on top of my duties as a blogger but I’m usually dismissive. I tell her, “When the only people who come across my blog are those searching for ‘3-D Cybersex,’ I find it hard to focus on keeping it updated.” Sidebar: I wrote one post about relationships in Second Life and their effects on real-life relationships, and suddenly I’m high on the list for internet porn! 

 

Still, for the four of you (give or take a few) who come across this modest site every now and again, I owe it to you to provide you with some semblance of actually giving a heck about putting my thoughts out there. Clearly!

 

Just Jokes: Walking the Line between Humor and Racism

Today I visited the blog, Stuff White People Like. It offers a list of random things that, well, white people supposedly like. The tone is humorously informational, and the list includes things like sushi, dogs and recycling. It is completely general and even stereotypical, but this is readily understood (unlike the website, www.blackpeopleloveus.com, which appears to be satire, but lacks necessary humor).  

I was cautious as I wasn’t immediately sure if SWPL would be amusing or offensive. After perusing the postings, I deemed it light and funny. I didn’t read every comment for every post, but I was able to gather that the visitors’ consensus mirrored my evaluation, regardless of race. 

One visitor mentioned that if there was a similar site for black people, it would almost surely be considered racist. I have to agree. Even if the list for black people included stereotypes that weren’t necessarily offensive (chicken, gold fronts, pit bulls), black people are extremely sensitive when it comes to this brand of humor, especially if the author is not black. 

Background information about SWPL’s author(s) is not provided. The ‘Contact Info’ blurb on the front page of the blog asks ”Do you know of stuff that white people like that we don’t?” so it is assumed he/she/they are not white. This anonymity comes across as an intriguing necessity for the blogger, but leads me to a certain conundrum: I don’t particularly mind not knowing the identity of the author(s) if  don’t find the content offensive, but that changes when it is malicious or racist. 

Writing a blog of this type obviously opens the doors for odious and racist comments. An anonymous blogger gave an offensive list of things blacks and other minorities are fond of (welfare, shooting heroin, gang warfare). The person ends the list with “don’t you dare call me racist!!!” If you have an opinion, however unpopular, why hide behind anonymity?  

Too often in the online world, racists spew garbage but never have the gall to stand behind their views. And that works my nerves. But what appears to be cowardice for some is inexplicably acceptable to me in the instance of this blogger’s identity. Go figure.

It is my belief that jokes containing truisms about different cultures are okay, and that sometimes the black community can be a little too sensitive, albeit understandably. But there should always be an underlying thread of respect. There is chatter in the blogosphere about this very idea (see Understanding and Correcting Online Bigotry), and I think its well worth more exploration.

Cyber Smashing in 3D – To Cheat or Not to Cheat

I have been reading a lot lately about Second Life and how so many people are gravitating towards it. It serves as an escape from the rigors of daily life, allows a person to be whomever they want and meet others they may not ordinarily come across in the real world.

An article I read about intimate Second Life relationships, however, gave me serious pause. The article asks, Is A Virtual Affair Real-World Infidelity? Initially I was unsure, and had more questions than an opinion. These people usually keep it to the space; they rarely call, email or meet in real life. But by the end of the article, I had wholeheartedly chosen a side.

An important part of the equation is defining infidelity. I subscribe to the belief that there are two types: physical and emotional. For me, if my partner fell for someone else and engaged in intimate conversations that should only be had between the two of us, I would be very upset. Given this fact, I would feel the same if I found that my guy was carrying on in Second Life with someone else. 

Second Life relationships can also go far beyond conversation. The characters can do pretty much whatever one can think of, including having sex. Although it’s only virtual, I believe a line gets crossed here. It isn’t like calling a sex line or something when you’re bored and randy; this is an interactive experience with two people who’ve made a connection. 

Sometimes, users develop a desire to be in Second Life more than their real one, or interact with their avatar partners instead of the ones who are there in the flesh. These instances serve as a testament to the dangerous potential this type of affair has. Even if the two don’t ever meet in real life, the aftermath can mimic that of traditional affairs. 

So my position is that while Second Life may be a cool escape, I say no to affairs in that space if you’re taken in real life. If you feel a need to go there, maybe you should reevaluate where you are and what you want, or why you feel you can’t be who you want to be with your mate.