You Know You’re Going off the Deep End with Dieting When…

Going Crazay!

In an act of frustration coupled with a hint of clarity, a friend emailed me the following. It is the start to a list of frustrations surrounding the craziness that is dieting:

1. You think everyone is trying to sabotage you – even the nice lady who brings in cookies for the whole office.  In your mind you’re thinking “Look at her bringing in those cookies, she’s not fooling anybody!  She knows I’m on a diet – she just wants me to be fat like the rest of them. Just like crabs in a barrel.”

She follows with “Feel free to add your own. I was having these thoughts and I know I’m not the only one.” The idea of being frustrated with dieting is nothing new. But her message captures the notion that these attempts can bring with them a level of insanity which can only induce laughter – hopefully the deep belly kind that burns calories.

Here are my additions to her list. I didn’t lose any weight writing this, but I do feel a little bit of my sanity creeping back. Thanks for the inspiration, P.!

2. You’ve pray over your food with the following: Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for this food I am about to receive. I pray that it nourishes my body and strengthens me, and doesn’t contribute to my being overweight. In Jesus’ holy name I pray, Amen.” Furthermore, you say this prayer over tacos…

3. You feel better about your lack of weight loss by deciding that the only way to be successful is to have an obsessive personality – something you don’t possess.

4. You drive all the way to the gym but get mad that all the elliptical machines are taken, so you decide to go home. The only reason you turn around and go back to the gym is because its rush hour and you’d rather wait for an elliptical than wait in traffic.

5. You get mad at the Lose It! application on your iTouch because you think you burned more calories than it lists for a certain activity… way more…

6. You try to dress in such a way that will prompt your grandmother to tell you “you look like you’ve lost weight!” And when it works, you actually feel good about the compliment.

7. You decide that Cinnamon Toast Crunch is a healthy snack option because the box says that it’s a “good source of whole grains.”

8. You want to smack someone every time they say “I LOVE the gym! I feel so good when I work out”

9. Ditto number 8 when someone says “My trainer kicked my ass!” and their tone is equal to that of “I just had the tastiest ice cream ever!”

10. You look at the skinny girls in the gym and think “She’s only in here to make the rest of us look bad.” At the same time, you’re a little self-conscious because you’re worried that other people are looking at you and judging why you’re there.

Anyone else going off the deep end? Share your stories with me.

Shameful abandonment – Why I haven’t posted in five months

I admit it; I have committed a cardinal sin in the world of blogging. I have not written a post in months. It isn’t because I’ve fallen from the face of the earth, and yes, my brain still works. I still have a multitude of opinions and am abreast of the many events happening around me. So why the egregious neglect? 

 

I tried to come up with a reason that would warrant forgiveness and understanding, but the simple truth is that I haven’t made time. Not that I didn’t “have” time, but that I didn’t “make” time. Since I began writing for a living, I haven’t left much room for personal writing, off the clock. To be honest, my day job doesn’t contain itself to just happening in the day. Often I’m working from home in the evenings or on weekends. I’m not complaining because I love what I do. But once the job is done, I zone out.

 

I’m sure there are plenty of professional writers who still find time to update their blogs no matter what. Personally, I don’t have enough of a following to deem it a responsibility at this point. My musings tend to fare on the reflective side as opposed to being informative and I don’t believe my humble opinion is something the masses are thirsting for (yet…).

 

I have also found some topics truly intriguing and worthy of my two cents, only to get caught up in the whirlwind that is my paying job and miss the opportunity to capitalize on the effects of immediacy. 

 

My social media guru friend, Reem Abeidoh (aka Nomadelle) frequently admonishes me for not staying on top of my duties as a blogger but I’m usually dismissive. I tell her, “When the only people who come across my blog are those searching for ‘3-D Cybersex,’ I find it hard to focus on keeping it updated.” Sidebar: I wrote one post about relationships in Second Life and their effects on real-life relationships, and suddenly I’m high on the list for internet porn! 

 

Still, for the four of you (give or take a few) who come across this modest site every now and again, I owe it to you to provide you with some semblance of actually giving a heck about putting my thoughts out there. Clearly!