You Know You’re Going off the Deep End with Dieting When…

Going Crazay!

In an act of frustration coupled with a hint of clarity, a friend emailed me the following. It is the start to a list of frustrations surrounding the craziness that is dieting:

1. You think everyone is trying to sabotage you – even the nice lady who brings in cookies for the whole office.  In your mind you’re thinking “Look at her bringing in those cookies, she’s not fooling anybody!  She knows I’m on a diet – she just wants me to be fat like the rest of them. Just like crabs in a barrel.”

She follows with “Feel free to add your own. I was having these thoughts and I know I’m not the only one.” The idea of being frustrated with dieting is nothing new. But her message captures the notion that these attempts can bring with them a level of insanity which can only induce laughter – hopefully the deep belly kind that burns calories.

Here are my additions to her list. I didn’t lose any weight writing this, but I do feel a little bit of my sanity creeping back. Thanks for the inspiration, P.!

2. You’ve pray over your food with the following: Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for this food I am about to receive. I pray that it nourishes my body and strengthens me, and doesn’t contribute to my being overweight. In Jesus’ holy name I pray, Amen.” Furthermore, you say this prayer over tacos…

3. You feel better about your lack of weight loss by deciding that the only way to be successful is to have an obsessive personality – something you don’t possess.

4. You drive all the way to the gym but get mad that all the elliptical machines are taken, so you decide to go home. The only reason you turn around and go back to the gym is because its rush hour and you’d rather wait for an elliptical than wait in traffic.

5. You get mad at the Lose It! application on your iTouch because you think you burned more calories than it lists for a certain activity… way more…

6. You try to dress in such a way that will prompt your grandmother to tell you “you look like you’ve lost weight!” And when it works, you actually feel good about the compliment.

7. You decide that Cinnamon Toast Crunch is a healthy snack option because the box says that it’s a “good source of whole grains.”

8. You want to smack someone every time they say “I LOVE the gym! I feel so good when I work out”

9. Ditto number 8 when someone says “My trainer kicked my ass!” and their tone is equal to that of “I just had the tastiest ice cream ever!”

10. You look at the skinny girls in the gym and think “She’s only in here to make the rest of us look bad.” At the same time, you’re a little self-conscious because you’re worried that other people are looking at you and judging why you’re there.

Anyone else going off the deep end? Share your stories with me.

Deal With It: Treat MRSA Like We Should Have Treated AIDS

MRSA (methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus), commonly known as drug-resistant Staph, has been quite a newsmaker lately. This bacterial infection is fatal if it isn’t treated in time, and with costly intravenous drugs. But there’s been a new development. According to a Reuters article I read this morning, a US study has found that the infection is being transmitted at higher-than-normal rates during gay male sex.  

There was a time when the word ‘staph’ evoked images of unclean hospitals, or unregulated medical procedures. Now, the beginning of the AIDS epidemic is brought to mind. I was too young to really understand what it all meant at the outset. After studying it later, however, one word resonated: denial.  Denial was rampant, across multiple communities. Some groups rejected the idea that there was a “gay” disease afoot and neglected to take precautions to protect themselves. Others were way too eager to write AIDS off as something that afflicted only gay men, thus they left themselves open as well.  

Here’s what I’m thinking. This time, we have a good shot at actually getting it right. While this ninja stealth strain of staph might be attacking one group more than another, none of us are immune. And we have learned from the past that sticking our heads in the sand works 0% of the time. There are no fingers to be pointed, only solutions to be vocalized.