Letting You in My Business (Kinda)

How much do you share online?

I’m on Twitter. I’m on Facebook. I’m on MySpace, LinkedIn, Tagged, Bebo… There may be more communities that I’m a part of but they escape me at the moment. For some of these sites, the goal is to develop a following, but I play the middle on just about every level. I’m definitely active in social media, but sometimes I feel like I’m behind the pack in terms of immersion and even deciding what to share.

Are you regular?

No sophomoric references to one’s digestive tract, I promise. I’m wondering what “regular” means in terms of posts and updates to social networking sites. I like to think that I update them all regularly, but that seems to be a relative term.

I probably tweet once or twice a day but I follow people who do so once or twice a minute. I’m on Facebook often, but I don’t take all the random quizzes (seriously…what kind of toilet paper-folder are you???). I don’t send obscure “gifts” all day either. Who really wants to get a “Happy Smiley Heart Margarita in a Here’s a Hug Mug?” Does this mean I’m only a casual user and not as absorbed as I once thought? I also wonder if my amount of time spent online influences my interests on certain sites, if it’s the other way around, or if it’s a bi-causal relationship. It’s a quintessential chicken/egg question.

Business, Personal…Businal?

I certainly enjoy letting my friends know that my mom thinks I moved to Japan, or that I believe a cravings troll lives under my couch and he’s to blame when I suddenly need a Rice Crispies Treat. But I also have some pretty serious followers on Twitter who are all about business. Reading their tweets make me wonder if I should maybe talk more about race relations and beer at the White House. Mind you, this comes with some level of assumption that people actually care what I’m writing/tweeting/updating about. But I’m a blogger ¾ of course I think people (well…at least a couple of friends) care!

What Are You In For?

When it comes to sharing information online, for some, it’s a job. For others, it’s all play. You have those who should really learn the art of self-censorship and then there’s me. I’m a communications professional who likes to play in the space but I’m very aware of what I put out there.  For now, I’ll continue to share with the same levels of frequency and disclosure. I’m curious to know what ¾ if anything ¾ would prompt this to change.

I’m comfortable with my presence online. Sure, I’d have more followers on Twitter if I discussed more industry topics. I’d have a following here if I posted more often too. But for me, it’s isn’t about who’s reading as much as it is about having a say. I put myself out there just enough for those who are interested and I can say what I want. It’s like talking to yourself out loud when you’re alone (don’t act like you’ve never done it!). Sometimes we have something to say whether someone’s listening or not.

You Know You’re Going off the Deep End with Dieting When…

Going Crazay!

In an act of frustration coupled with a hint of clarity, a friend emailed me the following. It is the start to a list of frustrations surrounding the craziness that is dieting:

1. You think everyone is trying to sabotage you – even the nice lady who brings in cookies for the whole office.  In your mind you’re thinking “Look at her bringing in those cookies, she’s not fooling anybody!  She knows I’m on a diet – she just wants me to be fat like the rest of them. Just like crabs in a barrel.”

She follows with “Feel free to add your own. I was having these thoughts and I know I’m not the only one.” The idea of being frustrated with dieting is nothing new. But her message captures the notion that these attempts can bring with them a level of insanity which can only induce laughter – hopefully the deep belly kind that burns calories.

Here are my additions to her list. I didn’t lose any weight writing this, but I do feel a little bit of my sanity creeping back. Thanks for the inspiration, P.!

2. You’ve pray over your food with the following: Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for this food I am about to receive. I pray that it nourishes my body and strengthens me, and doesn’t contribute to my being overweight. In Jesus’ holy name I pray, Amen.” Furthermore, you say this prayer over tacos…

3. You feel better about your lack of weight loss by deciding that the only way to be successful is to have an obsessive personality – something you don’t possess.

4. You drive all the way to the gym but get mad that all the elliptical machines are taken, so you decide to go home. The only reason you turn around and go back to the gym is because its rush hour and you’d rather wait for an elliptical than wait in traffic.

5. You get mad at the Lose It! application on your iTouch because you think you burned more calories than it lists for a certain activity… way more…

6. You try to dress in such a way that will prompt your grandmother to tell you “you look like you’ve lost weight!” And when it works, you actually feel good about the compliment.

7. You decide that Cinnamon Toast Crunch is a healthy snack option because the box says that it’s a “good source of whole grains.”

8. You want to smack someone every time they say “I LOVE the gym! I feel so good when I work out”

9. Ditto number 8 when someone says “My trainer kicked my ass!” and their tone is equal to that of “I just had the tastiest ice cream ever!”

10. You look at the skinny girls in the gym and think “She’s only in here to make the rest of us look bad.” At the same time, you’re a little self-conscious because you’re worried that other people are looking at you and judging why you’re there.

Anyone else going off the deep end? Share your stories with me.

What a Night – Barack Obama is President-Elect

I planned to stay in. I had wine, cheese and fruit. I had my TV and my couch. My best friend came by with dinner and we settled in for what we assumed would be an all-nighter-nail-biter. I expected to go to bed with the winner of the presidential election still being up in the air.

Then it happened. CNN came back from a commercial break and announced that Barack Obama was projected to win the presidential election after securing California. It was surreal. Obama won. And he won by such a large margin that it couldn’t be stolen from him. I cheered; I called friends and family. It was only after I hung up with my grandmother that it hit me.

All at once, I experienced a wave of recognition and awe that took my breath away. My parents and grandparents hail from the deep-south. Their histories, the times and places they come from, are filled with so many stories of discrimination, hurt, exclusion and hate. It was sometimes painful, but alas, it was life as they knew it. Black Americans have made so many sacrifices and valuable contributions to this great nation, but for some, they would always be heralded as “less than.”

My grandmother was able to see this day. My grandfather was able to see this day. My mother and father, who have always taught me that I could become anything I wanted, were able to see a day where their words rang even truer. America has spoken and declared that we can embrace positive change, no matter what package it comes in.

I don’t declare racism in America dead; I believe it took extremely dire situations for some of us to put our prejudices aside and really consider the issues at hand. But I do celebrate the fact that we’ve taken a step in the right direction. The enormity of what we have just done as a collective voice in this country resounds within me.

I have shed so many tears before, wondering, “Why do they hate us so much?” My only transgression was having been born with brown skin. Last night, I shed tears of elation, and, damn it, a feeling of worthiness. I am not Barack Obama, but he has reached a place of accomplishment that has never before been reached by a black man in this country. And when his family took the stage with him last night, I felt like I was up there with them.
 

Beyond Obama and McCain – Pride and the 2008 Presidential Election

My nephew asked his mom last week, “Are you voting for ‘Oh-rock Obama’?” He’s six years old. It was a cutesy kid question, but it brought home the impact of this election. Another nephew, this one in high school, asked me who I would be casting my vote for. Having a better understanding of current events, he also asked me why I made my particular choice. I was so proud at that moment. I was proud of his interest, but I was also proud of the fact that he didn’t assume race would be enough to get my vote.   

 

For me, it’s not yet about who wins. It’s about the fact that a black man actually has a chance at all of becoming the President of the United States. It’s also about women being given a real shot at running. And at least one of the women in this race was qualified for the position before her.

 

This Election IS about race, whether you like it or not

If we’re going to talk about race, we should be clear that it’s a factor on both sides. There are those who will not vote for Obama simply because he is black. There are also those who will vote for him because – you guessed it – he’s black. I don’t think either decision is wise, but I do believe motivations matter. The difference seems to be support versus bigotry.

 

Blacks who are voting based on race aren’t doing it to suppress whites. They’re doing it to support a black man. On the flip side, whites who are voting based on race are doing it because they don’t want to see a black man in the White House. They make wild and baseless claims to support their positions, but it all boils down to oppression.

 

What bothers me most about the racial tensions injected into this historic moment is that so many are trying to cloak racism with the word “fear.” It’s a thin veneer covering the ugly truth. Some try to give it a Christian base, but it’s so transparent. Instead of these ideas being categorically rejected, they’ve actually taken hold.

 

I am saddened to see it at all, but extremely disappointed that this painfully obvious tactic is also used in McCain’s campaign.  It’s more socially acceptable to be afraid than to be racist. I guess that’s why Sarah Palin talks so often about how “fearful” she is. I am not calling her racist, but I think her campaign knew what they were playing with when they chose those words.

 

Women won – and lost – at the same time

The other reason that makes this race so enthralling is gender. Women have also changed the landscape of politics in our country. They have been given a chance to enter what has for so long been a men’s arena. But the day that gender was touted above credentials is the day women lost. Period.

 

Whatever her level of intelligence, Palin’s grasp of domestic and foreign politics is severely lacking. Anything could happen to either presidential candidate after being sworn in office. I’d prefer the second-in-command to be able to lead the country from jump, not just be a “quick study.” I find it laughable that her being a woman, coupled with a “you betcha” here and there are supposed to overshadow her shortcomings. Still, she sure can draw a crowd.

 

Personal politics aside

Whether you are Republican or Democrat, black or white, man or woman, you have something to be proud of in this election. For so many of us, it’s been proven that we are all intelligent, able, worthy, and capable of leading this country to greatness. The world is watching us. How we act on November 5^th will speak just as loudly as how we vote on November 4^th.

 

Shameful abandonment – Why I haven’t posted in five months

I admit it; I have committed a cardinal sin in the world of blogging. I have not written a post in months. It isn’t because I’ve fallen from the face of the earth, and yes, my brain still works. I still have a multitude of opinions and am abreast of the many events happening around me. So why the egregious neglect? 

 

I tried to come up with a reason that would warrant forgiveness and understanding, but the simple truth is that I haven’t made time. Not that I didn’t “have” time, but that I didn’t “make” time. Since I began writing for a living, I haven’t left much room for personal writing, off the clock. To be honest, my day job doesn’t contain itself to just happening in the day. Often I’m working from home in the evenings or on weekends. I’m not complaining because I love what I do. But once the job is done, I zone out.

 

I’m sure there are plenty of professional writers who still find time to update their blogs no matter what. Personally, I don’t have enough of a following to deem it a responsibility at this point. My musings tend to fare on the reflective side as opposed to being informative and I don’t believe my humble opinion is something the masses are thirsting for (yet…).

 

I have also found some topics truly intriguing and worthy of my two cents, only to get caught up in the whirlwind that is my paying job and miss the opportunity to capitalize on the effects of immediacy. 

 

My social media guru friend, Reem Abeidoh (aka Nomadelle) frequently admonishes me for not staying on top of my duties as a blogger but I’m usually dismissive. I tell her, “When the only people who come across my blog are those searching for ‘3-D Cybersex,’ I find it hard to focus on keeping it updated.” Sidebar: I wrote one post about relationships in Second Life and their effects on real-life relationships, and suddenly I’m high on the list for internet porn! 

 

Still, for the four of you (give or take a few) who come across this modest site every now and again, I owe it to you to provide you with some semblance of actually giving a heck about putting my thoughts out there. Clearly!

 

The Hunt for My Dream Job

I am the first person in my family to graduate from college. I left home with nothing to pursue a master’s degree, which I completed. I moved up the ranks at a company I’d been employed with for almost four years. And I accomplished these things well before reaching 30 years old. But something was missing.

The idea behind obtaining an advanced degree is typically to put it to use. There were a multitude of applications for my master’s in organizational communication, and I was chomping at the bit to find the right one for me. At least that was my intention, but making it work in theory was much easier than realizing it in real life. For the better part of a year, I found the true meaning of being on the grind.

I count myself as one of the many out there who were duped into believing a degree was as good as an invite to the party. I expected companies to scramble at my feet, vying to give me their best offer. “I mean, I have a master’s,” I would think, while mentally popping my collar. Well, I quickly became a master at accepting mass rejections!

While I had a very specific degree, my actual work experience was laden with positions that were anything but. They ranged from customer service to analyzing reports. There wasn’t anything that screamed “Communications professional right here!” I always found ways to work in my passion for writing and internal communication, but those experiences faded on resume paper. Thus, it appeared to the weary eyes of recruiters everywhere that I was not qualified.

I decided that maybe I was setting my sights too high, and pursued positions that were somewhat below my capabilities. I effectively became the meat in the over-qualified/under-experienced sandwich. I had wallpapered the country with my resume but to no avail. I had a couple of face-to-face interviews as well, but there was always some extraneous circumstance that kept me from my goal. One position had just been filled (with my friend, no less!). Another potential boss ran a very dysfunctional ship (thanks, but no).

I had done all I could do. The resume had been tweaked to perfection. I talked the talk. I had the game face. But the right position just wasn’t there. The constant rejection or lack of response had become demoralizing. I figured maybe I had been going about it all wrong, and if I stepped back, my next move might become clear. I spoke to a friend and told him that I saw no choice but to take a hiatus from the search for a while. Three days after that conversation, the opportunity I had been working towards presented itself in my email In Box. After a month-long screening process, my goal was realized.

I am excited to say that I have accepted a position as a Change Implementation Communications Associate at Towers Perrin, a global professional services consultancy firm. This position seems tailor made to fit my experience, education and professional goals. Funny thing is, the opportunity came at the very moment I had decided to “let God and let go.” I established my goals long before, and worked very hard to see them to fruition. Looking back, it feels like I had been pushing on a door that clearly said to “pull.” I opened the door in the right direction, and my dream came right on in.

Just Jokes: Walking the Line between Humor and Racism

Today I visited the blog, Stuff White People Like. It offers a list of random things that, well, white people supposedly like. The tone is humorously informational, and the list includes things like sushi, dogs and recycling. It is completely general and even stereotypical, but this is readily understood (unlike the website, www.blackpeopleloveus.com, which appears to be satire, but lacks necessary humor).  

I was cautious as I wasn’t immediately sure if SWPL would be amusing or offensive. After perusing the postings, I deemed it light and funny. I didn’t read every comment for every post, but I was able to gather that the visitors’ consensus mirrored my evaluation, regardless of race. 

One visitor mentioned that if there was a similar site for black people, it would almost surely be considered racist. I have to agree. Even if the list for black people included stereotypes that weren’t necessarily offensive (chicken, gold fronts, pit bulls), black people are extremely sensitive when it comes to this brand of humor, especially if the author is not black. 

Background information about SWPL’s author(s) is not provided. The ‘Contact Info’ blurb on the front page of the blog asks ”Do you know of stuff that white people like that we don’t?” so it is assumed he/she/they are not white. This anonymity comes across as an intriguing necessity for the blogger, but leads me to a certain conundrum: I don’t particularly mind not knowing the identity of the author(s) if  don’t find the content offensive, but that changes when it is malicious or racist. 

Writing a blog of this type obviously opens the doors for odious and racist comments. An anonymous blogger gave an offensive list of things blacks and other minorities are fond of (welfare, shooting heroin, gang warfare). The person ends the list with “don’t you dare call me racist!!!” If you have an opinion, however unpopular, why hide behind anonymity?  

Too often in the online world, racists spew garbage but never have the gall to stand behind their views. And that works my nerves. But what appears to be cowardice for some is inexplicably acceptable to me in the instance of this blogger’s identity. Go figure.

It is my belief that jokes containing truisms about different cultures are okay, and that sometimes the black community can be a little too sensitive, albeit understandably. But there should always be an underlying thread of respect. There is chatter in the blogosphere about this very idea (see Understanding and Correcting Online Bigotry), and I think its well worth more exploration.

Super Tuesday Looms: Voting Race, Gender or (Duh!) Issues?

CNN has taken flak over the last couple of weeks regarding an article that posed a seemingly simple question about the South Carolina Primary: Will black women vote based on their race or their gender? Ironically, it’s the simplicity of this question that complicates everything. But with Super Tuesday upon us, it is well worth discussion. 

Many black women took offense to the article because of its superficial nature. It effectively reduced black female voters’ choices to race and gender only. This implied that instead of voting on the things that matter (national security, experience, government spending, etc), black women are torn between supporting – or selling out – their race or their gender. 

The comments posted after the article ranged from mild to hot. Most shook their fingers at the presumption that black women would vote using such meaningless qualifications. One reader cleverly pointed out that black women aren’t the only set that might think about race vs. gender, assuming that’s all that mattered to them. White men could be presented with the same “dilemma;” Clinton is white and Obama is a man. But that avenue is ignored.  

Others readers flat-out cried racism, which I believe takes the debate a step too far. I too was slightly offended. The idea that black women would focus on important issues instead of race or gender was mentioned as an afterthought as opposed to a decision-making priority. But I don’t think the question was racist. When CNN aired a piece about the article and subsequent backlash, one commentator compared the race vs. gender question to asking a Mormon voter if she will support Romney or not. Or asking a southerner if she’s more inclined to vote for a southern candidate.

Asking about race and gender in this election is valid, but it should not be left to stand alone when exploring black female voters. Let’s face it, we do vote on the issues, but we consider other more superficial factors as well. I am excited that Obama is black, that Clinton is a woman, and both of them have a viable chance at becoming our nation’s next president. For me, it isn’t about race or gender at all. It is okay for either to matter, but neither should be a determinant in choosing our next leader.

Deal With It: Treat MRSA Like We Should Have Treated AIDS

MRSA (methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus), commonly known as drug-resistant Staph, has been quite a newsmaker lately. This bacterial infection is fatal if it isn’t treated in time, and with costly intravenous drugs. But there’s been a new development. According to a Reuters article I read this morning, a US study has found that the infection is being transmitted at higher-than-normal rates during gay male sex.  

There was a time when the word ‘staph’ evoked images of unclean hospitals, or unregulated medical procedures. Now, the beginning of the AIDS epidemic is brought to mind. I was too young to really understand what it all meant at the outset. After studying it later, however, one word resonated: denial.  Denial was rampant, across multiple communities. Some groups rejected the idea that there was a “gay” disease afoot and neglected to take precautions to protect themselves. Others were way too eager to write AIDS off as something that afflicted only gay men, thus they left themselves open as well.  

Here’s what I’m thinking. This time, we have a good shot at actually getting it right. While this ninja stealth strain of staph might be attacking one group more than another, none of us are immune. And we have learned from the past that sticking our heads in the sand works 0% of the time. There are no fingers to be pointed, only solutions to be vocalized.

Chua Soi Lek – Another One Bites the Dust Due to Side Action

It certainly didn’t begin with Bill Clinton, but his sex scandal changed the scope of the public response to crises such as these. Oh, but wait—why exactly should public officials engaging in extramarital affairs even be considered a crisis? I have been asking this question since Lewinskygate, and am still waiting for an answer that makes sense. 

Malaysian Health Minister, Chua Soi Lek, just resigned his post after a DVD surfaced depicting him engaging in sex acts with a woman other than his wife. While this is certainly terrible for his family, I don’t understand why it has cost him his job. My position on this is hardly new, but it is one that will continue to stand each and every time we revisit this issue.  

We elect these people to do a job for us. Does Chua’s bedroom behavior hinder his ability to do the job for which he was chosen? According to the MSN article, he made great strides as Malaysia’s health minister. So why exactly did his infidelity cause him to resign his post? 

Sometimes, constituents take the position that to ignore is to condone. I wholeheartedly reject this notion. Some matters simply don’t belong in the public forum. If it was a case of sexual addiction that stood in the way of the normal ability to do the job he was elected to do, I’d understand. But his affair is something his wife and family should be concerned with, not the general public. 

If we don’t like the way an elected official lives his or her life, we have the power to reject them through our voting practices. But to hold these people to a higher moral standard than the rest of us seems extremely asinine to me. He isn’t a priest (I’m not opening that can though…), he’s a government official. Committing a crime is one thing, but an act of moral reprehension shouldn’t necessarily end a political career.